There's rude...

One of the many useless conclusions I've developed recently is the fact there is rude ... and then there's Redbox rude.

Redbox rude is when you're renting or returning a movie to your neighborhood Redbox machine (for lack of a better term) and a person comes up behind you in a rush and does at least one of the following:

* Sighs heavily at least once every 10 seconds trying to get your attention.
* Sees you standing in the Redbox position (which is kind of like the missionary position without the personal space invasion) and gives one of those "clicky/smacky" sounds with their tongue on the roof of their mouth like you're inconveniencing them.
* Tries peering over your shoulder either to get a look at the screen or perhaps to sneer at your movie choices.
* Stands there tapping their toes as if their time is much more precious than yours.

When either the first or second occurs, I slow my selection process or return process way down. I might look at more movie descriptions on the screen or perhaps scroll back and forth knowing full well I don't care to see any of those on the screen but hope just maybe the impatient one will say something, anything so I can make a scene.

If it's the third (peering over my shoulder) I revert back 25-plus years to my high school basketball days and my coach's constant reminder to "Box Out!" under the boards. Even more amusing is getting your feet shoulder width apart, not Larry Craig wide, but far enough apart so you can shuffle back and forth to counter any moves your 'opponent' may attempt to get a clear look at the rebound or in this case, the Redbox screen.

If it's the latter (toes a tapping), a slow head turn and blank stare right at them usually does the trick. This philosophy also works for public restrooms when you're at the urinal and the guy next to you is trying to do a junk check. Nothing dries up a stream faster than eye contact.

Anyway, Redbox has created a whole new realm of rudeness and if you're not aware of it take notes the next time you rent or return a movie at one of those red bandits.