Whiny Boy: Chapter III - The Breakdown

In an earlier blog, I talked about the origin of Whiny Boy and a little background on him to provide some depth on him and then I talked about accepting your Whiny Boy status.

Now before you dive into any sort of self inventory, you must come to grips with the fact there are two different levels and many different sub-levels of Whiny Boy.

Like belly buttons, there are Inner Whiny Boys and there are Outer Whiny Boys. The biggest difference between belly buttons and Whiny is that one collects lint and the other wants to know “how the hell did that piece of fuzz get down there?!”

Then there are the rest of us who are combination of both. I definitely whine on the outside and let my feelings be known, much to this dismay of many around me. There are also times I whine on the inside but never reveal those thoughts for fear of letting my true self be known and of letting people know sometimes how much of a butthead I really can be from time to time.

There are many other sub-types of Whiny, but there are just the two levels. Those who are purely Inner Whiny Boys are the scariest kind because in an instant, they can become outer Whiny Boys all at once and that isn’t a pretty situation. They make horror movies for the big screen about this kind of guy or, worse, devote a 15 minute segment to him on “60 Minutes.”

Ain’t nothin' funny about that.

Sometimes in cases like these, the collective Whiny Boy world also takes a vote (go back to http://www.whinyboy.com/ to get your username and password) and basically kicks that guy out of our non-exclusive club.

Outer Whiny Boys can be just as hazardous, but since they spew forth their whine constantly there is no build up of pressure. However, the danger in this guy is the constant whining becomes intolerable and like the little boy who cried wolf (a text-book case of the early stages of Whiny Boy) he loses any credibility. This guy doesn’t usually risk getting voted out, but being shunned is a distinct possibility.

Getting shunned by the Whiny Boy world is hard to do and the chance of re-admittance is about as likely as someone taking this drivel too seriously. It’s at this point we might see Outer Whiny Boy become subject matter for Court TV and that ain’t funny either.

The key to longevity in life, I’ve come to realize, is a balance between Inner Whiny and Outer Whiny.

It’s good to have a little of both, and never too much of one or the other. Whine a little on the outside and whine a little on the inside, but never do it all just one way or you’ll be sorry and the rest of the world will be entertained.